Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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