Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
