She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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