In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
