the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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