the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
