clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
