so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I just want nice things and good sex
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
