Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Randomize
