there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
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