just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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