at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
there is glitter all over my balls
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
