Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
