One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
