In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
