All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
