i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
