Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
