In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Randomize
