Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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