It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
