i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
