There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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