She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
