who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize