On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
the liver wants what the liver wants
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
