I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Randomize
