In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Randomize
