I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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