It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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