i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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