when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
