i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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