I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
