what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
