Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
