lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
