My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
