Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Randomize
