So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
