Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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