I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
