break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
