You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
