Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
