remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
