all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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