I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
