You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
