4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
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