So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
