I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
