Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
