I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Randomize
