Whod you bang
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
