She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
