I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Can Purell be used as lube?
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
