butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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